20. The Whitsundays

Customer Feedback Form: 2 days one nite aboard the Hammer sailing yacht

Rate the following out of ten, with ten being the highest score.

  1. Boat presentation and cleanliness 5/10
  2. Crew 7/10
  3. Food 6/10
  4. Adventures 9/10
  5. Sleeping quarters -2/10

Would you recommend to a friend? Yes/No – Definitely Not™ this boat

General comments and recommendations

Overhead crew member call patron “actual b*tch” within earshot.

Bed above me was so low I kneed the guy in the back each time I turned over.

No shoes allowed !!!!!!! Fungus abound??

Grumpy crew member quoted as “tying knots to pass the time and avoid smoking more”

Charging $2.50 a water.

Party boat ensured bumping tunes 2k18

Beautiful breathtaking beaches

Spotted stingrays and plenty of fish (no dot com required)

Experience of a lifetime with my parents delivered in a backpacker package

A Little About You

Sex: female

Age: 22-26, 50+ and over

Nationality: frustrated I have to scroll down to ‘C’ every time

Dietary restrictions: more chocolate please

Swimming ability: Swim OK (actual response)

How did you get to Airlie Beach?


*Above is a satirical review of a recent boating adventure in the Whitsundays. Any similarities to persons or places fictional or fake are coincidental and completely unintended.*

Some maybe relevant pictures:

The mast and first blue sky, day one. We sailed until sunset and anchored in a small Bay under the stars for the night.

During one of our many rainy moments, we saw a rainbow! Full curve on the entrance to the Whitehaven beach.

Happy snap of Whitehaven beach, before everyone arrived for the day.

Gorgeous and grey skies with silica sand.

And that was the whitsundays!

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